Author. Coxswain. Seattleite.

My life is purple. And NaNoWriMo-y. And contains a lot of mildew; literally.

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Nan-O-Rhy-Mo | Noun

NaNoWriMo, an acronym for National Novel Writing Month, is an especially sad disease, causing its victims to suddenly believe they can write a 50,000 word novel in a month. It is a particularly horrible form of social suicide, which, once having taken hold, cannot be avoided.

Curiously enough, most victims show few signs of this disease until late October, whereupon a sudden impulse to plan out the major plot points in their novel, steals the full attention of the victim, alongside excessive stockpiling of caffeinated drinks (Read: Coffee). Otherwise, nothing too concerning will occur besides loudly proclaimed issues with the naming of ‘MC’s.

During the second week the victim will hit “writers’ block” at which point they will bang their heads against a wall, plead with the Writing Gods, and make offerings. This is what we call the “mid-write crisis.” You cannot help the victim through this; only time, cures.

By the third week, typing will become more frantic, as the victim realises that they are rather behind on their irrational goals. Oftentimes, victims will become irritable; beware touching any of their belongings during this time (especially the coffee) or disturbing them in the middle of a critical plot point.

By the fourth week, the victim will very rarely emerge to face real life. It is a mad-dash to the finish line and is known to include pacing, laundry, Tylenol, and in extremely severe cases: Word Bingeing; that is, writing 10,000+ words in one day, perhaps multiple days in a row.

At the dawning of the moon on November 30, approach cautiously, and attempt to calmly and quietly introduce the victim to food, water, and rest. In the coming days be sure moderate to high coffee consumption occurs, or their system may crash. They will often suffer other symptoms of withdrawal, but the worst is now over.



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